The Cost of Children

A friend posted this online, and thought this was totally worth sharing. Remember this, kids. You're expensive... but we love you, and it's absolutely worth it!
The Price of Children
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle income family. Talk about price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.
But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:
* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month,
* $171.08 a week.
* A mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is: don't have children if you want to be 'rich.' Actually, it is just the opposite.
What do you get for your $160,140.00?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs,
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watch Saturday morning cartoons,
* go to Disney movies, and
* wish on stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodlewreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and
* coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat in history to witness the:
* First step,
* First word,
* First bra,
* First date,
* First time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great-grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match...

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price.

Sadness

Today I attended the memorial service for an old friend. I have waffled about whether or not I wanted to include this in my blog, but I think perhaps it will have value for me. Or maybe for Someone else, some day, in an unforeseen way.
Parker attended the funeral with me, and he did great. I had hoped that with a full belly and clean diaper, he would drift off to sleep. He didn't. He was awake the whole time, and decided to chat a bit during the service. He followed that up with a nice diaper blow-out. A fantastic example of a parent-hood moment.
*** - Erik Thomas ****, 35, of Portland, Ore., passed away unexpectedly August 6. He is survived by his parents, Tom and Gail ***; his siblings, Matt and Rachelle ***, and Alex and Ashley ***; his nephew and nieces. A National Merit Scholar who attended Calvin College, U of M and Portland State University, Erik also served in the U.S. Air Force. A memorial service will be held...
Erik ended his own life. It appears he planned it for some time and perhaps did not reach out to friends or family for help. What he leaves behind are mourning family and friends who are hurt, and heartsick, and angry. Why did he hurt so much? Why did he choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem that ends up making things so much worse for those who cared about him? Why didn't he have faith in friends and family, that they would try to help him? How could he have been so inexplicably selfish?
I know, logically, that in that moment, in that time, he probably had no concept of the repercussions of his act, and that he was probably extremely focused on what seemed like overwhelming, unsurvivable pain. It probably wasn't a selfish act in his mind.
It takes an incredible force of will to complete such an act. The mind and the body are hard-wired to survive. Did he have a split-second of doubt after he performed the act? Did he think "Oh my god, what have I done?" In the days before, did he look for someone, anyone, to connect with him. To give him enough positive interaction to believe that maybe the world did care about him? Have I ever been that person on the street who wasn't polite when someone else was just looking for a little eye contact?
But he leaves behind "Survivors." They who loved him are now survivors of a tragedy, a trauma. A lifetime of questions and doubt, anger and sadness.
Every day, as I change Parker's diaper, or brush Maia's teeth... as I care for my children, I think about how much I love them. I love them so much my heart could burst. There is nothing I would not do to protect them. I look at them and think how that nothing they could do would keep me from loving them: even if I'm mad, or disappointed or hurt by their choices.
And I think that Erik must not have known this about his parents. That 35 years ago, his mother was changing his diapers, and was overwhelmed by the love she felt for her beautiful boy. His dad was proud of his son, excited to be a father, and to learn together as a family.
It's a sad thing when a life is cut short by an illness or a tradgedy. It is intensely difficult to come to terms with when a person makes this choice willfully.

Parker at 10 weeks

We had a slightly delayed 2 month exam. So here are Parker's stats as of 9 1/2 weeks...
Height: 23 3/4 inches = 72%
Weight: 13 lbs, 7 oz = 80%
So in 2 months, he has grown 2.75 inches and gained 3.8 lbs. However, he is nicely in proportion. He just feels like he's the size of a 4 month old to me. He's doing well with meeting "developmental milestones." The ones we're currently enjoying are his great head and neck control, his ability to push himself up during tummy time, his increasing social smiles (he is now smiling in response to being smiled at and/or talked to), lots of cooing, and he is now pushing up and supporting his weight in response to being held vertically with something under his feet. And my favorite: laughing in his sleep. Adorable! Can't wait until he does it when he's awake!
He did great with his shots, didn't cry for long. Oh, and the tooth? Probably not. It is curious, because it hasn't come in any further, hasn't changed shape, so the Doc thinks it's probably a harmless little cyst which should work itself out in time.
Currently, Parker is in 3 month (getting short, but okay around the middle) or 3-6 month clothing. His newborn shoes are a little too small, but the size 0s still fall off.

Swaddling

Swaddling. Some parents swear by it. Some state their baby hated it. Some call it "tying the baby up" or think that it looks uncomfortable, so it must be uncomfortable... or too hot. Some babies like one arm out. Some believe that if your baby breaks out of the swaddle, they don't want to be in it.

For us, however... swaddling is a magical time. For Parker (and Maia, from birth to 6+ months), swaddling means comfort and calm at the end of witching hour, and the transition into night time. That time of night when the baby, after a day full of eating, sleeping and lots of activity, has become overstimulated. Or tired. Or cold. Or all of the above. And a little replication of the warmth and confinement of the womb (where he spent 9+ months warm and confined) is just what that developing nervous system needs to help chill. Relax. Pop in the paci (after half an hour of random fussing and 5-10 minutes of increasing to screaming)... Ahhhhh! Happy baby. Happy Parents. Good sleeping.

A Baby Burrito!

Videos. Lots of Videos.

I'm very behind on getting videos uploaded, so here are a bunch of them from the last few weeks.

First: Maia at the Park. Doing her goofy prance on the playground equipment.

Parker gets some Tummy Time.

 

Maia's birthday. Opening some bubbles...

... and the bubble mower.

 

Then using the bubble mower. One of her commonly repeated phrases right now is That scared me! While she is making a lot of progress learning how to identify some emotions and verbalize them, she often uses That scared me! to indicate that something surprised her, and also that she just noticed something for the first time, in addition to something really scaring or startling her.

Parker's limbs a' flailing! He's getting more active. Right before I started filming, he was smiling like crazy. That stopped as soon as I started filming, of course.

A conversation with Maia while she finishes her dinner. It seems to be a lot about bad choices she and her friends make, and came following a lot of talk about songs they sing at daycare (T2 is the Toddler 2 room, for toddlers 2-3ish, which she moved up to in early July). And then, in true toddler fashion, she changes subjects completely, and combines different events and completely made up things.

It's like this all the time. This girl can talk.

Here, Maia was bringing Parker his blanket, but decides to pat his head instead. She really was gentle, but Parker is a fantastically noisy alarm for "My big sister is touching my head!" Also funny is the end, where she gives the fakest cry ever in response to not bumping her chin (she says I need bonk my chin! right before she pretends to do it).

Gardening Again

My sister and I made plans to bring the kids somewhere fun, dependant on the weather. There were a number of things I wanted to do with Maia this summer, but just couldn't figure out how I could keep Maia and Parker simultaneously safe without another adult, or someone who could help contain my busy girl. We threw out a number of options (beach, splash pad, children's museum)... but for several reasons, ended up back at the Gardens. Again. It's okay, though... Maia LOVES them, and hasn't tired a bit of going. And I got a chance to take some photos of some of the pretty things for a change. I didn't bring the "big camera" (the Nikon D80), just the point-n-shoot.

She does a good job holding hands, and Lydia and Adrian really enjoyed showing her the cacti in the Arid Garden and telling her not to touch them (while they did).

Lotus... or Water Lily? I think it's a lotus.

Maia throws a penny into the fountain in the Victorian Garden.

The garden is currently exhibiting the work of Dale Chihuly, a sculptor who works in glass. (Many have seen this work at the Bellagio in Vegas. I have not.) 

These, in the tropical conservatory, appear to be some of his Macchia series.

A bromeliad in the tropical conservatory.

An orchid (is this a lady slipper?)

The base of one of the Chihuly towers. It looks like chunks of amethyst.

We stopped for a snack before heading off to get wet.

And Parker was sad that we stopped moving during his nap.

Maia's a lot taller now, and can now play with boats in some of the other "lakes." Remember last year when she could only play in the shortest one?

One of the special activities for the day was painting the side walk with water. There were buckets of water with various sizes of paint brushes. Lydia was determined to paint the entire sidewalk, so they were going through lots of water. Maia would walk to the "lakes" and fill the buckets herself, with no assistance, and carry them back to their spot on the sidewalk.

Lydia's just getting started.

Maia decides it's easier just to dump the water. Besides, she really enjoys filling the buckets.

This was a great activity for the girls, especially. They didn't loose interest in 'painting' for a long time!

Adrian came over later, and painted Maia's name.

Maia continued helping Lydia get that whole sidewalk wet.

Before leaving the water area, Lydia asked to hold Parker, and did a great job.

Maia did manage to trip and skin her knee. It wasn't too bad, but it bled pretty quickly. She hardly noticed, and didn't cry. She was, however, quite insistent about getting a bandy (band-aid) for it, and fortunately (since I didn't bring my purse), Aunt Kathleen had one! The three of them did go on to play in the treehouse and in the story telling hut, but as I was feeding Parker during that time, I have no pics.

Adrian and Lydia love to "mother" Maia, and haven't fully realized how much older, more able, verbal and independent she is than six months ago. However, she rarely gets her pointy finger out to admonish them with her good ol' Nooo-wah! I do it my-sewf! and seems to tolerate their over-protectiveness fairly well. That said, they all did a great job, and had a good time. Maia was quite exhausted by the end of our 2+ hours and took a nice nap.

Every Day Stuff

The fun thing about being home with my two kids 5 to 7 days a week is that I get LOTS of opportunities to take photos of them. Even if it's just every day stuff. Maia hadn't actually HELD Parker in a while. She was very excited for the opportunity, and did a pretty good job this time. She really likes to pat his head, and often thinks she needs to 'tickle' his face, but she does not have appropriately soft tickling skills, and Parker is NOT a fan. As soon as he begins to scream, she runs quickly in the opposite direction!

She is a sweet big sister, though. She gets upset whenever he cries, and will always tell him "bess you Pah-kuh!" when he sneezes and "Iss okay buddy!" when he cries.

She's also fascinated with his pacis. She started off really wanting them for herself, but after a lot of repeated "Pacis are for babies, and you're a big girl!" she's got the idea, and she loves to try to help give Parker his paci... usually upside down... whether he wants it or not.

Just shy of 8 weeks old, Parker finally got his first bottle. He did very well, and took it completely without incident. I didn't even have to leave the room so he wouldn't smell me and reject it. Yay!

This is a huge relief for me, because it means not only can I go out for a while without him, but this means I can now start determining how much milk he needs in his bottles for daycare. I have a general idea of what I should start with, but I may need to adjust that up or down a little bit.

And here is Parker, awake and alert and talking to Grandpa on the phone!

Maia is also generally convinced that every toy that Parker has, she needs to play with too... or that it is hers. I suppose there is some truth to that, in that many of Parker's toys were hers, but she has long since outgrown them, and most were purchased with the intent that they would be used by more than one child. That said, Parker never seems to mind (yet), and usually watches his big sister intently when she speaks to him.

Maia Funnies

One night while we were camping, I was getting Maia settled for bed and she came up with these gems: You're so cute, momma! (while stroking my hair) Need more beer, momma! (holding out her sippy cup) Others, good and bad... and things we hear frequently (whether we'd like to or not)

• Thass Hot! (Reminiscent of Paris Hilton, unfortunately. However, she says this when pointing to the stove or the candle in the bathroom)
• Don' lell at me! or even better, Don' lell at Puh-kuh, daddy!
• Need more fyoot snacks, please, momma!
• Whachoo doin over dere?
• Don tak to me like dat!
• I needa watch Ehw-mo! (Elmo)
• More Gabby gabby! (Yo Gabba Gabba... another children's show with lots of music)
• Whass that man, momma? (translation: Who is that? or What's his name?)
• Whoah... wha happen? (often said when she falls down)
• Washcoth-coth (washcloth)
• Life Jacket-coat
• Don wanna go to da car wash and get my feet all wet, momma!
• Upon watching me eat some of the Manny Wheats (mini-wheats) that she often eats for breakfast she says: No! Put it in the basket, momma! I tell her no, I'm going to eat the Mini Wheats, she says Das mine, momma! 'pit it out! (spit it out) right now! 'pit it out inna trahsh! (trash).
• While watching me type on the blog, she runs to her v-tech laptop and says I check on my com-puter! I need check on somun ehs (something else)!
• Looking down at her striped shirt one morning: I wearing blinds!

Maia is very into smelling things and helping me stir things in the kitchen right now. However, recently while playing together in the living room, Daddy floated a lovely beer fart. Maia said "Smew dat?" Ray asked her "What does it smell like?" Maia continued playing, but stated "Um, poopy!" Interestingly, this is different than her previous responses to gas expulsions. It used to be "Go potty daddy?" That may (or may not) have something to do with Parker's noisy diaperfillings. Every time Parker passes gas or poops loudly (something Maia used to do as well), she will say happily "Puh-kuh pooped!!! Go change 'im?"
And while we're talking about poop, I got this little gem recently. While eating lunch, Maia let one rip. She stopped eating, laughed and said "You hear dat? You wan some more poop?" How else can you respond but No Thank you!
On morning, Maia was turned down when she requested fruit snacks for breakfast, so she thought she'd raise the bar... "Um, Keedee (candy)" No. "Um, Choc-o-late!" No. "Um, Nem-en-ems! (M&Ms)" No. We settled on applesauce and cheese.
Can I just say that I love to hear Maia laugh, and appreciate all the little laughs she gives us. Soon enough, Parker will be making us laugh, too. What's better than that? I love my kids!

I told her to get her water shoes. I guess I should have been more specific.

She put her shorts on by herself. They are backwards, and only pulled up in the front.

The Day After

The day after Maia's birthday and party, we had quite a bit of food left over, and since the temperatures had fallen enough that grilling would be tolerable. So we had Kath, Andrew, Lydia and Adrian over to help polish off some dogs and burgers (Emily is at Blue Lake Fine Arts camp).

I think Adrian and Lydia enjoyed Maia's toys as much as she does.

They look like partners in crime.

Aunt Kathleen had lots of kisses for Parker.

Lots of smiles from Parker.

Earlier in the day, Maia was asking for the stickers off the produce. Apparently she decided to share with Parker.

More Birthday Pics