The first week of May was what I often refer to as "hell week" - or Symphony performance week. What this means is rehearsal from 7:30-9:45/10 pm on Monday, 6:30-10 pm on Wednesday, 6:15-10 pm on Thursday. And then rehearsal prior to the 8 pm performance: 7-10 pm on Friday and Saturday evenings. Whew! Notice how many nights off we get in a week? One. Tuesday night. One solitary night.
For the last month or so, I'd been asking myself repeatedly: Why did I sign on for this performance? Why didn't I just quit after the earlier spring concert? Glutton for punishment? Who knows! I was extremely uncomfortable during those long rehearsals: back hurt to stand, baby in my ribs/can't breathe if I sat. But I had committed. I guess that there is a big part of me that wanted to squeeze in another opportunity to perform at this level, knowing it'll probably be quite some time before I'm able to participate in such an endeavor again. Also fun: not being able to fit into my performance skirt. The top was stretched to the max, but I couldn't get the skirt on, so I wore black maternity pants for the performance.
Anyway. The performance really came together nicely, and I actually thought the chorus gave one of it's most cohesive, unified and musical performances since I've been a part of it. Turns out the rest of the chorus, the Chorus Master and the Symphony Conductor (those of us most likely to be critical of ourselves) felt pretty much the same way. There wasn't much we could have done better.
I am in the 2nd row of the chorus, on the left side... the 2nd person in from the left, next to my sister.
The Reviewer, however (see here) did not see it that way. In fact, based on the review, I'd thought maybe he didn't see the performance, but maybe one of the dress rehearsals from earlier in the week... because it didn't make any sense. This same reviewer has given us glowing reviews on much poorer work. Ah well.
So. How long will it be until I get to do this type of thing again? I thought maybe a couple years, since, at this time, I was hopeful that my proposal to work 1/3 time at home (evenings and weekends) might be approved. That hope was soundly denied, and I'm back to the drawing board in negotiating with work to find a way to make my work/home life balance better and still be able to pay my bills. So the first proposal would have allowed me to drop the kids down to part-time daycare status while I continued to work full time. This would have allowed me to still pay a lot more for daycare, but with some judicious budgeting, we should have been okay. Since that got turned down (argument being: You're a manager, you need to be here to manage. Maybe we offer you a raise and/or a title change?). I had to put out a counter-proposal. After I figured out what I would need to manage financially in keeping 2 kids in full time daycare, I put together a proposal asking for a Very Significant Title Change: I'm basically asking to be promoted to the same level as my boss, reporting directly to the CEO, which I've actually thought would be better for everyone years ago, since I have a very unique position in the hospital, and the more filters there are on information for me, the harder it is for me to do my job and make the clinic successful and profitable... which is what they ask me to do, but then sort of prohibit me from being in a position of being part the decision-making that would make us successful and profitable. So I finally though: Fine. I gave you the cheap option, and you declined. Here's the alternative, which really should have been offered years ago, and by the way, here's a bunch of comparative research showing that you've been underpaying me for years (not to mention, every time you take my doctors away, I end up cutting my hours and my salary for issues not in anyway related to any sort of poor performance on my part, but because I'm recognizing it's what's right for the company at that time). So. Go big or go home. My fingers are crossed, but I am quite sure I will not get everything that I've asked for. I do hope to be able to reach a reasonable negotiation.
Anyway, in the midst of all that... we finished up our Lamaze refresher class, and Maia got some one-on-one time with my folks who helped with babysitting during our Lamaze classes and the above Symphony week. I'm rather alarmed at how quickly time is passing, as I have a 2 1/2 page "To Do" list for work, although I feel more or less prepared at home with some minor tweaking and, well, lots of cleaning (an uphill battle with a toddler and our busy schedule of late) that I just don't have energy to do. June Bug will be here before we know it!
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