The Joys of Parenting

With a title like that, you'd think this would be a nice, cute Maia story... but no. This is me, awake at 2:40 am, and unable to go back to sleep. This is the unfortunate by-product of parenting called Worry. And, I dunno, maybe it's just mommy-brain doing this crazy stuff to me. This is now the second (at least) time that I've had a dream about a disastrous event happening. Interestingly enough, the dream starts out having nothing to do with Maia. I wake up in a panic, and realize it was a dream but in my half-dreamy state, my mind takes the event and turns it around and puts up the magnifying glass: how would I get Maia out of that situation? This first dream like this happened last spring, and involved me driving down a highway on a gorgeous sunny day. I come upon a glittering river, probably half a mile wide, rimmed with trees. It was beautiful, except that the river had taken a turn and was inexplicably where it shouldn't be: crossing over that highway I was traveling down at 70 miles an hour. The highway just ended before I could react, and my car's forward momentum took me out over that river for a few seconds before the car's nose tipped forward and in I plunged, coming to a rather quick stop. First thing I thought: I'm so glad Maia isn't in the car! And I tried to assess the situation to get myself out and remember what I had learned by watching the Today Show (wow, I really should have one of those Life Hammers). Once I figured out how to get myself out, my brain tortured me: Okay - that's all well and good... what would happen if Maia was with you? And I spent the next half hour playing through all the possible twists and turns of that. What would I do first, how could I make sure she survived. UGH. Months later, the dream images remain quite vivid, and, if given the chance, my mind will update those "what ifs" with what Maia is able to do now. This evening's delightful dream was a fire in the house. Getting Maia out, would I remember to RACE: Rescue, Alarm, Contain, Extinguish. Would I remember to close the pocket doors behind me as I we leave? Would there be time to get the laptop, photo albums (things impossible to replace), phone, keys so we could back out the car? My mind is actually restful knowing that I have a fireproof and waterproof safe for our important documents. What duties would Ray take, and what would I do? I'm pretty sure I'd remember to PASS: Pull, Aim, Squeeze, Sweep if able to get the fire extinguisher. Fortunately, we actually practice using a fire extinguisher every year at work - which I actually think is invaluable experience (at least the first time). They don't behave exactly as you would think. The big tanks actually have some kick-back, although I doubt our small home models would have as much. And so I sit. Gotta get it out so I can think about something else and go back to bed. 3:10 now. Ugh. You just don't worry like this when you have only two, independent, capable adults living in a home. Through in a Little Person who is dependant upon you for their daily survival - and your mind really starts taking you for a ride.